Nothing exciting to report.

I am 13DPO and haven’t gotten AF yet (she usually shows up on 12DPO). I haven’t POAS yet…probably won’t do it unless miraculously AF doesn’t show up until 18DPO. I have had SO many disappointments, I have the M.O. to assume that nothing is going on. After 16 cycles of temping, 16 cycles of spotting before AF, why would this cycle be any different? If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck…

My temps are still high, but spotting continues, a bit more of it too. I am using progesterone cream from the acupuncturist so that may explain the higher temps. I am supposed to use the cream though 14DPO.

Went to acupuncture this morning. I heart K, she rocks. I like going in before work — it is like I get an extra hour of relaxation/sleep on a Monday morning. I feel like a big, fat schlub – I haven’t exercised in over 10 days. We have been so busy moving, etc. plus I had a cold last week. I need to get back on track! But when AF shows up, I am sure I won’t feel like biking to work or swimming, so I may wait until she is gone. So until then I guess I will just deal with my flabby self.

We are done moving!!! There are still piles of crap all over the house, but at about 1pm yesterday I called TW when he was on his way back from Goodwill dropping off about 2 tons of stuff. I told him I was done. I can’t look at the house anymore, I am not stepping foot back inside. We decided to pay someone $200 to come in and clear out the rest. They can take what they want, sell it, do whatever they want with it. I don’t care anymore – I just don’t have the energy. We stored everything we want for later and moved everything that we need now to the cottage. The minute TW agreed to hire someone to finish the job I felt a huge weight lift – I could breathe again. Aaaaaahhhh.

I am actually anxious for AF to arrive. Then I get to do the lupron challenge and find out whether we can do IVF!!!

Have a great Monday everyone.

Triphasic Temp Chart?

As you know, I started spotting yesterday. Also, my temps are doing the drop, drop, drop that they do at this time of the month. HOWEVER, stupid Ovusoft told me this morning that I have a triphasic temperature chart. If you look at their definition, it says a triphasic pattern could mean that you are pregnant. But then it says that many pregnancies do not start off with a triphasic pattern. It also says that sometimes people who aren’t pregnant have triphasic temperatures. Why even bother using this as an indicator of pregnancy then? As far as I am concerned, it just puts false hopes in the minds of TTCers.

So even though my pattern is the same freaking pattern as the last 15 cycles (with never a BFP), now I have this tiny eensy bit of hope that my spotting was mystical implantaion spotting. AAAAACK!!! Here is my chart:

So, the internet works in the cottage! I guess the cable company never turned it off. TW wants me to just shut off the cable in the big house and not say anything. But that means that I won’t have my beloved DVR because we don’t have digital cable in the cottage. But it will save us $100 a month…maybe I’ll see if I can live without the DVR. Doubtful!!

We still have so much to do. It looks like a tornado struck the big house – literally. The walls are ripped off, and inside there are just piles and piles of crap. I want to plant myself in there until we are done. TW has other plans!!! I am trying not to stress. Everything will get done, right?

On the IVF front, I am still waiting for all my test results. I got my hepatitis results (negative) and HIV results (negative). Still have two more test results to come in…but I did call the clinic and they said I could do my lupron challenge before all the test results come in. SO — no delays!! That’s good news!!!

Just for fun – here is a picture of our lovely house. I will spare you an image of the interior.

Cycle 15

I cannot believe I have been temping and watching CM for 15 cycles now. Here is my chart. It looks pretty good, don’t you think? I think the acupuncture helped, my temp shift was pretty good right at ovulation instead of slowly rising a few days later.

I

I am DPO11 and haven’t POAS. I just saw a little beige spotting when I went to the bathroom. This is pretty normal for me. I spot like that for a couple of days before AF 😦

Even though I am totally on board for IVF, it would have been nice to have a surprise BFP! But I guess it isn’t in the cards. I thought by now I would just be able to let it roll off me, but each month it is still like a punch in the gut. And even though I expected a BFN this month (why would I expect anything else!!), when I saw the spotting, I was so, so, sad. How nice it would have been to be one of those couples who had appointments for IVF and found out they were pregnant the week before. But it isn’t meant to be.

I WISH timing was everything!

 Take a look at my chart (sorry the picture is blurry, but if you click on it you will see a clearer version):

I used OPKs again (finally), twice per day, and I caught the surge! We had sex three times (twice right before O, and once the day of), and my temps shot up right when they were supposed to (thank you K!). If only TW had super sperm…but I am still trying to stay positive. Now…on to 2ww hell!

So close yet….NOT

So up until yesterday I thought that I had maybe, possibly, hopefully, a slight chance of actually being pregnant. TW has been on his meds for 3 and a half months and supposedly after 3 months things can start working. TW has high prolactin levels which in turn can cause high FSH and low sperm counts. The pills he takes every night (if I remind him!) should be helping his prolactin levels come down, and like a domino effect, other hormone issues should normalize as well. Please, Please, Please! Anyway, my chart has looked GREAT this month. No spotting, high temps. I had to calculate my ovulation date myself because the ovusoft software put it in way too late. If I calculated correctly, I am currently at 15DPO. Usually I start spotting for days on end and then my period shows up at around 13DPO. It is so hard not to get my hopes up! See my pretty chart? Well, unfortunately this morning my temps came crashing down and I started to spot. 😦

Why can’t this happen for me?

Prepping for Acupuncture

6:00pm. I just printed all of my Ovusoft charts — all 14 of them. The woman I am going to see for acupuncture tomorrow sounded excited (well, maybe not excited) to see them. This was a nice change, as my RE wanted nothing to do with them. As a matter of fact, I told my RE I was taking my temperature every day (yes I am obsessive!) and she told me not to bother. She said it is confusing and frustrating and stressful. But I can’t stop! There is something soothing (well, maybe not soothing) about entering my temperature every day. Something tangible that I can do, each and every day, that somehow makes me feel like I am being proactive. I guess I haven’t learned (yet) that taking my temperature isn’t going to get me a baby. I need to do MORE. Like have sex every once in while, yeah — that may help too. Anyway, looking at my old charts was like a walk down memory lane. OH YEAH! I remember that cycle — only 20 days from start to finish. YIKES – remember that? Spotting on the day of ovulation and every day thereafter, and it didn’t stop until bleeding began? OH! And those lovely progesterone tablets shoved up the private parts every day, twice a day, from two days past ovulation until 14 days after? That was GREAT! WOW — I forgot how much fun I have been having trying to conceive.