As promised…

I am changing the topic, and as promised, here is an e-mail my mom sent me after IVF#2 failed. Hold on to your hats….it starts out okay and then just, well. You need to read it:

Hi Babystep,
       I hope you are feeling a little better.  My heart has been
with you all day.  if I told you “I know what your going thru ” you
will say how can anyone know ? So I am not saying I know exactly what
you feel. But I have had similar experiences,   twice I was ready to
adopt but fortunately dad was not ready  and his family was totally
against it so I settled down to try one more time. and it was three
times the magic.  Same thing might happen to you too. Who knows ? I
think you owe it to yourself to try at least one more time. I was
weeping all the time but once I got all that sadness out of me things
worked out
       Do you want us to come and visit you ? or do you want to come
with TW and we could have a simple meal or go to a small place near
by ? That is doable.   But if you want to spend the time with TW
and do something fun then you should.  I suppose he can comfort you
better than we can I suppose since he is in it with you.
       Who says “motherhood is that great?”  It is a big physical
pain , then you make a lot of sacrifices , physical and emotional
some times you are cherished for that and sometimes you get kicked in
the teeth.  Who can say what lies in the future.  As you know I carry
around a heavy heart many waking hours. I don’t even know what I am
trying to say. So being a “mom” is not always that fulfilling as it
has been drummed up to be. Of course I am saying it now but I wanted
a child just as badly as you do.
       So since it is totally out of our hands  and you have done
everything you could possibly do. Now it is the time to accept as
life is and go on. I’d still like you to try one more time at least.
We are taking the dogs  to the dog park but we will be back in an
hour. So call or come by if you like. Love and kisses.
                               Mom

So…yeah. That is my mom in a nutshell. She has her head so far up her ass, she needs a seeing eye dog. (I just made that one up today!) I sent it to my brother and we actually had a good laugh. I can’t take anything my mom says seriously, because she is crazy. She has no filter, and I don’t know if it is part language barrier or what — but a lot of times she has the best of intentions and then she just goes off on a wild tangent and I am left scratching my head. For example, at TW and my 1 year anniversary, she wrote me a note that says, “Congratulations on your 1 year anniversary. I hope that the two of you will be very happy until one of you dies”. Half of her e-mails are written at 1am after she has been out cavorting with her French village people, and she is drunk and half asleep. Those are actually the best because she starts typing gobbledy-gook and usually ends up signing off with something like,

i am getting very sleepy…i should go now before i start typing heebee-jeebee.
love and kissnz;kj;duormmnnnnn

and she clearly fell asleep on the keyboard.

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So, yesterday after work, I walked in the house and TW and PT were sitting at the kitchen table. I said hi, and asked what was going on, and PT said, “I got my period!”. TW was just sitting there acting like PT didn’t say anything (but he lost all color in his face). I said, “When?” PT responded, “Yesterday!” So I said, “Why didn’t you say anything yesterday then?” PT responded, “Because I didn’t know! I thought I just crapped my pants!”. OMG. I almost died laughing. TW had his mouth hanging open and PT and I were cackling like a couple of hyenas. Apparently PT went to the bathroom and there was a bunch of brown sludge on her panties….so she thought she pooped! Wouldn’t you feel it if you pooped in your pants? Anyway, the next day she asked her friend Amanda (who is already 5 foot 5 with big boobs and child-bearing hips) and Amanda confirmed that sometimes the first day of your period is brown, not red. So, mystery solved. PT did not just crap her pants. She is a woman now (yeah, right.)

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19 Responses to “As promised…”

  1. DC Says:

    LOL at the pants crapping! 🙂

    Your mom seems like a piece of work. I’m sure there’s probably a language issue involved, but she basically told you adoption sucks AND so do you. (Because children aren’t that great and – wait – aren’t you her kid?!?) Too funny.

  2. Pepper Says:

    Oh my. That email was worth the wait! Bless you for understanding that your mom’s “stuff” is SO not about you.

    And PT is too funny! 🙂

  3. Heather Says:

    Did she turn that email into all about her, or was that just me?

    AW, PT is getting all growed up!

  4. Queenie Says:

    Okay, first of all, my mom never told me she had another daughter, and that email was DEFINITELY sent by my mom. You need to confront her about me. . .seriously. My mother doesn’t know we are TTC, and she told me recently she doesn’t understand why people think babies are such a blessing. We’re talking about not telling her about the baby until the kid is like 17.

    Totally giggling at the pooped pants, and the fact she told her friend about it. Kids are great.

  5. journey to junior Says:

    my mom has no filter as well – and pepper is right – her issues are not about you. but is sucks to deal with it anyway.

    you know, i was just like PT. i thought i had pooped my pants, too. 🙂

  6. seriously? Says:

    OMG I just laughed out loud at my desk and I can’t stop giggling. That just made my day.

    Sorry about your mom. I think mom’s just want us to be happy so sometimes they tell us to move on hoping we can refocus and become happy. My mom suffered recurrent m/c and told me to just move on when I had mine.

  7. Cece Says:

    Wow. You mom is a very interesting woman. It took me a while to understand that my mom’s crazieness really wasn’t about ME it was about HER. Made it much easier to deal with.

  8. Nicole Says:

    I’m just impressed that you can blow off your mom’s filter-free comments. lol Good for you!

    NCLM

  9. Amanda Says:

    Soooo….who’s for buying Mom a mouth-filter for her birthday?!

    I’m dying laughing at the “crapped my pants” story! Hahahaha!!!! What makes it even funnier is picturing TW sitting there changing colors while pretending there’s no conversation going on. Hahaha!!!

  10. shawna Says:

    oh, where is the filter? How does one make it through life without one? I am shaking my head at this email, shaking my head. WHERE IS THE FILTER? You are a better woman than me cuz I would have shot back a nasty reply, even to my mom.

  11. DC Says:

    Good luck with your stims!! Let me know how it goes.

    Thanks for the tips re: shots. I may have to give my (ample) thighs a try. 🙂

  12. Betty M Says:

    Coming by to say thank you for leaving a comment on my blog – much appreciated.

    PT’s comment takes me way way back – I felt much the same! And I agree with the others your ma needs a filter.

  13. Michelle Says:

    HI There… Tagging you for a meme. Directions on my blog!

    Enjoyed the PT story– too funny!

  14. Dr. Grumbles Says:

    That e-mail… WOW. Just wow.

    And, I too thought it was crap at first, until I verified it was indeed coming from the other place.

  15. Freyja Says:

    Thanks for the laugh (about PT).

    As for your mom… well there’s really nothing to say about that, now is there? :p

  16. Kona Says:

    That email from your mom was a jaw dropper. What was her point? I guess she was trying to comfort you somehow, yet it came out all wrong.

    ((Babystep))

  17. missedconceptions Says:

    “Congratulations on your 1 year anniversary. I hope that the two of you will be very happy until one of you dies”.

    That has to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. I really can’t believe she doesn’t work for Hallmark.

  18. Ginny Says:

    Moms gotta love them, lol. Visiting from NPLM

  19. Allison Says:

    Your stories always totally crack me up. Love the “until one of you dies” thing. That is GOLD! I’m so writing that in my sister’s next anniversary card and signing our mother’s name.

    And you, me and Queenie must have been separated at birth because there truly cannot be 3 women THAT crazy out there…

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