I found this e-mail from “my friend” that I mentioned in the last post. She sent this to me after asking me how I was doing…when I answered that I wasn’t so hot, this was her response. She actually was writing me for the first time in 6 months because she wanted my parents’ e-mail address so she could see if she and her husband could stay with them in France. See? She only is in touch when things are rough and needs a shoulder to cry on, or if she needs something else from me.
You know? She was definitely already pregnant when she wrote all this bullshit to me, because she is now 4 months pregnant and this e-mail came on April 30th. But I guess she chickened out telling me because you should have seen the e-mail I wrote her back. I ripped her a new one, but in such a way that she probably didn’t realize it. (I can be polite when I need to be).
I am so sorry you are down about getting pregnant. This probably isn’t going to be much help, but in the celebrity magazines (I like flipping thru the pictures at night in bed and being catty about it with DH, ha ha) I keep reading how certain celebs try 2, 3 sometimes 4 times before it happens –and even some give up and then presto, it happens on it’s own. Stress is such a big factor. Also, I hope your place has a good track record cus DH keeps telling me about this place he found in the area that ‘guarantees’ you will get pregnant (going full term is another story). Let me know if you want the info. I’m sure you’ve already read every book on the planet, but I read somewhere it also depends what you eat that day/week -something about changing the chemistry in the uterus. Seems to me they are implanting you with fertilized embryos, so I would think it’s some slight chemical imbalance down there that needs to be worked out. What do they tell you?
Great advice, huh? AND, I would have never guessed she was pregnant since she mentioned the IVF clinics that her husband has researched…I thought they were still thinking about IVF. She is so clueless! It all depends what I eat that day. And I need to stop stressing out. And, they are “implanting me with fertlized embryos” … so I must have a slight chemical imbalance. That is why I am not pregnant yet. God, I don’t care if I never talk to her again. Seriously.
Baby Step 
June 4, 2008 at 10:02 am |
I had a friend like that. She only called when she needed a place to stay, wanted to brag, or wanted something from me. “Parasitic” would be a good way to describe her and I finally cut her off when I realized that I wasn’t getting anything but grief from the relationship.
It can be morale-destroying to see something you desperately want come so easily to someone else, especially someone who may not appreciate the gift they’ve been given. It isn’t fair and it’s okay if you don’t want to talk to her for a long time, if ever.
June 4, 2008 at 10:42 am |
Seriously? You still talk to her? Your are a nicer preson than I. I am glad that she offered you such great advice, if you just stop trying or relax then *presto*. I say *presto* punch her in the face!
I am considering putting a poll up to see what people think my craziness is. I think they need some more posts before the could give an educated guess!
June 4, 2008 at 12:15 pm |
Your friend’s assvice sucks, if you ask me. Maybe I should add her comments to my list:
http://lupuspie.blogspot.com/2008/05/ten-things-never-to-say-to-someone.html
🙂
June 4, 2008 at 3:14 pm |
I’m sorry there is yet another moron pregnant person out there who just doesn’t get it. The strange thing is I feel like I have read that exact email before…but I think it’s because this or a similar version has been posted by hundreds of other fertility-challenged women who have completely uninformed friends. Just last weekend I got the old, “just go on a vacation” line and I nearly kneed her in the groin (I curtly said I’d been on more vacations in the past 5 years than Carnival Cruise Lines, thank you very much). This came from a 38 year old who has never had kids and has no clue how difficult it can be to get pregnant. The ignorance is absolutely rampant.
But here’s the thing (and trust me I am NOT defending your friend or the other ignoramouses)…unfortunately, they truly do not have the ability to understand. Period. Unless you have experienced and learned about this world I firmly believe you can’t possibly comprehend. I know I didn’t before I hit the royal speedbump that is infertility.
That’s the sad part – there is this great divide between US and THEM that I don’t think can ever be corrected. Sigh…it’s depressing.
I hope you do end up raising your step-daughter’s kid.
Kidding.
June 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm |
wow. Yeah, I’d write that friend off too. I hate when people say that stress has a lot to do w/ getting pregnant. And the food thing? Oh please!
I can’t wait for the same liberation from charting! Thanks for the comment, good luck to you as well!
June 4, 2008 at 5:08 pm |
I’m just getting around to reading blogs today…she is a Class A Cunt. You definitely don’t need this “friend” (which she doesn’t even deserve that title). Even if you tried to explain to her your point of view, she would never get it. Drop her.
June 4, 2008 at 5:47 pm |
OMG! Ignore what I posted in our IVF BG on LP. This girl is a fucktard. Seriously. I just can’t believe her. And you are in no way evil or a bitch. You are a human who is incredibly honest about her feelings. She sucks. Heather is right – she’s never going to get it and will keep trying to be “helpful” which will just drive you over the edge.
I hope your parents aren’t letting her stay with them…
June 5, 2008 at 5:52 am |
Thanks for visiting my blog! Here returning the visit. Isn’t it funny how people think they are being so helpful, but rarely tell us anything we don’t already know or haven’t already heard elsewhere. I wouldn’t blame you for avoiding her!
June 5, 2008 at 8:44 am |
Wow. The fact that you still talk to her says so much about the amount of patience you have! That is truly unbelievable that she would think those things, never mind having the nerve to write them in an email to you. I think that should I get something like that from a “friend”, that would be email that crossed the line, and would signify the end of the “friendship” forever.
June 5, 2008 at 8:51 am |
Wow. There is an Assvice Hall of Fame, right? Because that email deserves center stage.
The worst part is that you can’t even chalk this up to “well meaning but clueless,” it’s more like “semi-related small talk so I can get to my point which is trying to leach off of your parents.”
June 5, 2008 at 11:41 am |
How’s your uterine “chemical imbalance” today? 😉
June 5, 2008 at 11:54 am |
There are certain people I just can’t talk to anymore. If they do track me down I keep it all light and breezy. NO TTC talk with them at all. They push, ask, prod…but I resist ever so politely. It’s so easy to change the subject when talking to a self-absorbed person. Just ask them a question about them. Presto! They completely forget they were trying to butt their nose into my personal business. Ignore her e-mail…but I’m so glad you shared it with us.
Oh and DC…totally just spit our my diet coke. Funny!