Bad Wife – Good Step-Mom

First of all – I have to say that I agree with a lot of you – the NaComLeavMo concept is awesome and I love the comments. However, it is a shitload of work. I keep wanting to post and then I think — oh, I will check out some more blogs and make some comments. Then next thing I know, hours have gone by, and I haven’t posted, let alone read the comments that others are making on my own blog!

Reason number one that I am a bad wife (you be the judge):There is nothing in our fridge. I usually do all the grocery shopping, and I do it often. I have to drive right by our fave store on my way home from work, so I pop in to buy this or that. But for some reason over the past week, I haven’t shopped. And we have run out of everything. One would think that TW would catch a clue and maybe head to the store himself, so now it is kind of a test. How long will it take him to go to the store? Yesterday morning he wanted to make some sort of scramble. We had two eggs. And the only other thing he could find that would “go” with the eggs was baby carrots. So he made a baby carrot scramble. I thought it was pretty funny. Poor guy. I don’t think that a carrot scramble will be the new rage on the local breakfast menus.

Reason number two that I am a bad wife (you be the judge):I asked TW what he was going to get me for my birthday (which is tomorrow, by the way).  He responded, “I asked PT and she thought that a $50 gift certificate to Nordstrom would be the perfect gift”. I almost choked, then I started to cry (literally), then I tried to stab him in the eye with my half eaten corn on the cob. Nothing says, “I don’t like you very much” than a gift certificate to Nordstrom. Okay, nothing against Nordstrom, I actually do shop there quite a bit. But it is SO unimaginative. And, $50 would buy me one pant leg, maybe, if it is on sale. I know that PT thinks that $50 would buy her a car, but still. Why would he take a 12 year old’s advice? It turned into a big “to do” with tears on my end and anger on his. I came across as a crazy, greedy, bitch. And TW was like a deer in the headlights. Should I be such an ingrate? I mean — we are going through a hell of a remodel and bleeding money like stuck piggy banks. But truly, if he feels like he cannot afford to buy anything more than $50 for my birthday, I think we should just forgo the presents. I told him he could buy me a nice card. He could give me a foot rub or a back rub. He could cook me dinner AND do all the dishes. He could do some research and figure out a place we can hike with the dog, and take a picnic. There are lots of free or almost free things he could do. $50 would even buy me a mani/pedi/eyebrow job at my favorite salon. He just has to use his pea sized brain to figure it out. The figuring out is what counts…don’t you think? But I still do feel like a bad wife since he really wasn’t expecting such a violent reaction from such an innocent conversation. But he should know by now: I.LOVE.MY.BIRTHDAY. LOVE.LOVE.LOVE. So a $50 GC just doesn’t cut it.

Why I am a good step-mom – reason 1: I took X to the hospital yesterday. I drove 30 minutes, picked her and PT up, took X to the hospital, dropped PT off at school. I took the day off work to do it so I could be ready to pick X up when she needed a ride. I had to get her prescription, sit with her while she got her discharge instructions, get her into the car, get her into her apartment, set her up on the couch. I went to Trader Joe’s to get her some soup because she couldn’t eat solid food until after the general wore off completely. She thought someone was bringing food over but no one showed up. I also had to stay with her for 4 hours in case she had any trouble. At one point during the discharge instructions, the nurse put her hand on my arm and said, ‘You are such a good friend’. And X said, ‘Yes, she is’. It just felt so odd to hear her say that. This was a very emotional day for me, lots of mixed feelings bubbling up. I can’t hate her, but she has been so awful to us. And now she has cancer, and she has no one to turn to, except for the woman that her ex married. It is very strange.

Why I am a good step-mom – reason 2: I sat through an hour and a half of GRUELING music at the elementary school. It is so hard for me to even go there – because I look around at all the parents feeling like a fish out of water. I am the only woman that hasn’t pushed one of the kids out of my birth canal. I cannot even pretend to enjoy these fucking concerts. I look at my watch every 5 minutes and I physically cringe when someone misses a note. Everyone else thinks it is just adorable. And they clap and cheer and holler and take movies and pictures. Would I feel the same if one of my bio kids was up on the stage?? PT was in the very back row so we could barely see her. She wouldn’t have even known if we had left. I had to listen to the fucking songs that she practices every day. The dog howls so loud that he drowns out the viola that she is playing completely off tune. You know that corn cob I wanted to stab TW with? I wish I had had it so I could have poked my own ears out. So, I was watching this damn concert…and I noticed that every single kid at PT’s school is unattractive. Seriously. There are maybe 2 or 3 cute kids. Out of hundreds. What is the deal with that? How can there be so many ugly kids in one school? You would think that the law of averages would dictate that there would be 50% better than average and 50% below average. But truly, these kids are almost all below average. Someone hit them with an ugly stick. The girls have unibrows and mustaches. And the boys look like girls. Maybe it is the water. Okay – maybe I am not such a great step-mom after all. I was trying to prove I was a good step-mom because I sat through the concert, so give me a couple of points for that. 

I start Lu.pron shots tomorrow. I cannot believe I am starting IVF cycle #3. I am SO bored with the whole thing. Oh, the other day when I went to the clinic for some reason or other…I noticed that outside the clinic smells like dirty vagina. I know that is completely and totally disgusting to say. I think it is some sort of vile flower that grows on the trees. Have you ever entered the stall in the ladies room after an old lady has used it…and there is that ….. SMELL? It smells just like that. I truly hope my hootchie never smells like that. I will give TW the corn cob to kill me if it does. I just thought of the perfect birthday present for me. TW has his appointment tomorrow to whack off and deliver the goods to the clinic. How about he does it without complaining, and he gets to the lab on time, for once. That would make my day.