8 Things About Me

Okay, so I have been thinking that this Lu.pron thing is a piece of cake. The injections are not so bad, I feel a tiny sting when the tip of the needle pierces the skin but then it is smooth sailing. And no side effects. And no bruises (just a few tiny black pin-pricks here and there). I thought. However, last night I woke up totally sweaty, and I am grumpy as all hell. And my boobs are super sore and I have a headache. Poor TW. It is his birthday today, and I walked in the door after work and immediately started griping about the dishes (I had left a note for him to unload the dishwasher). Also, I had made him a birthday dinner last night – I made a really expensive beef tenderloin roast for him, his dad, PT and me. And he told me he ate some of the leftovers for lunch, by chopping it up and scrambling it in some eggs. I almost castrated him. He scrambled $26.99/lb beef tenderloin in eggs? OMG. I ripped him a new one. I stormed out of the house and took the puppy to the dog park. On the way there I realized that I really shouldn’t have gotten so unbelievably upset over some left over meat. How he eats his leftovers for lunch really shouldn’t concern me so much! And I was at work so he fended for himself (which is actually better than usual — sometimes I come home and he hasn’t eaten all day!)…was it right to scream and yell and slam the doors because of his scrambled egg lunch? Probably not. I am going to blame it on the Lu.pron. But it could possibly be because I am just naturally a raging bitch. Not sure. I will keep you posted on that whole thing and will let you know as soon as I figure it out.

Missed Conceptions nominated me for the “8 Things About Me” meme…so here goes!

  1. I am terrible at sharing. If I order something really yummy at a restaurant, I don’t want to give bites to anyone. I also covet things like my favorite hair tie, my favorite pen, because I don’t want anyone else to use it (even if I am not using it!). I force myself to share but it is really hard. I know this about myself and it scares the shit out of me, since I want to be a mom so much. Mom’s have to share everything. Will this change when I have a baby? I sure as hell hope so. I need to work on this. In other ways I am very generous, like with my time, and I will do anything for my friends and loved ones. But share my favorite pen? Not so much.
  2. I need to touch my keys. I think I have some sort of OCD? I need to know where my keys are at all times. I lost them once about 10 years ago and ever since then, I obsess about them. You would think this would have caused me to always leave them in the same place, but I get so distracted…one time I found them in the freezer! Not only do I need to know where they are, I have to touch them. So if I am out for dinner with friends (for example), I will open my purse at least 5 times to make sure my keys are in my purse (and touch them). Even if I just checked 1/2 an hour before, I do it again, knowing that I haven’t moved them (but also knowing I am such a spaz, that maybe I did move them?)
  3. I have had 2 nose jobs. Yes, TWO. When I was 10 I walked face first into a very clean sliding glass door. My nose was always bigger than I liked but after that I had a prominent bump on one side of my nose…I had a “good side” and a “bad side”, and I was always aware of which side was visible to the people around me. When I turned 18 I asked my parents if I could get a nose job, and they said it was fine (I was shocked!). So, the summer before college, I got my nose fixed. The doctor called it a “deviated septum” and truth be told, I did breathe much better afterwards….and my nose was straight. The recovery was horrible. But the next summer I had a follow-up and the doctor was not pleased with the results and offered to do it again for free. And I said yes! So I did the whole thing again. Amazingly, I am still not happy with my nose. This was 20 years ago and I think that nose jobs have come a long way…but don’t worry, I am not going through it again! The scary part is that TW has a long Italian/Greek nose…our baby will probably be worse than Cyrano. TW just found out that I got a nose job because when we were moving he found this old picture of me. I never told him — I truly blocked the whole thing. But I came clean…and now he makes fun of me. Argh!
  4. I always have at least 4 of everything in the supply closet (probably related to the OCD!). Four toothpastes, four packages of toilet paper, four laundry detergents, etc. If I get down to 2 of something, I need to run to Target to replenish ASAP. If I only have 1 left of something (even if the opened one is almost full), I feel the DIRE need to shop for it, like it is an emergency. I never run out of ANYTHING.
  5. I love animals but I eat meat. I cannot reconcile this at all. I never squish a spider, no matter how ugly it is. I trap it under a cup and take it outside. I volunteer my free time to save unwanted puppies. I am the person who stops every person on the street with a dog so I can give the dog some love (usually I get on the ground with the dog, no matter what I am wearing). I love ALL animals, even reptiles. I want to be a vegetarian but meat has been so ingrained in my life from an early age, even when I give it up for a while, I go back to it like an addiction. My dad grew up in Eastern Europe (as a jew) during World War II, and almost starved. My mom grew up in India and meat was a coveted thing, maybe obtained once every two months. So when they came here to the U.S. and meat was so available, they fed it to us 5 days a week, like it was a well-earned prize (and in a way, it was). But I know what horrible, awful deaths these poor animals go through. And even though I think about it all the time, I still buy steak at the grocery store. I get so obsessed about the environment and the plight of domestic and wild animals that sometimes I cry, but I feel too paralyzed to do anything about it. I could seriously pay a therapist every day for the rest of my life, just on this issue alone.
  6. I weigh myself twice a day. I know this is really bad for the morale, but my mom bought me a scale when I was 12 and the only time I have skipped weighing myself is when I am on vacation and there isn’t a scale in the bathroom. I play this game in the evening before I go to sleep, I weigh myself and then predict how much I will weigh the next morning, thinking about what I ate that day, and how much I exercised, and what I am wearing. I always weigh myself clothed at night and naked in the morning. (Oh God, more OCD).
  7. I never eat breakfast. I know that it is “the most important meal of the day”. However, when I was still in grade school, my mom slowly reduced her efforts at breakfast from cooking a hot meal, to making frozen waffles, to pouring cereal, to leaving cereal out for me to pour. At the end of the breakfast era, she would leave the cereal out but leave a vitamin in the bottom of the empty bowl, knowing I would just pop that and go to school. My mom and dad were not breakfast eaters either, just coffee and tea. I am so used to going about my morning with no food in my stomach that on the weird occasion when I do eat in the morning, I am totally thrown off. And I am actually much hungrier on the days when I eat breakfast. I don’t get hungry until lunch. I asked my doctor if this was okay, and she said not to force myself to eat if I am not hungry. So there.
  8. Cooking is my therapy. I love to cook. I love everything about it. I love thinking up new recipes and imagining how the individual ingredients will combine to tantalize the people who eat it. I never use recipes while I am cooking but I read them for fun and modify as I feel fit. I watch cooking shows all the time for ideas as well. No matter how tired I am after a shitty day at work, I can go grocery shopping (which I also LOVE), get home and put together an awesome meal for family and friends. And I always feel rejuvenated afterwards. Feeding people is love. This is the one thing that I love to share.

Okay, now that you all think I am neurotic and not fit to be a mother (except maybe for the cooking thing), I nominate SarahS-P to do the meme next.

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4 Responses to “8 Things About Me”

  1. sarasp Says:

    Tagged! Oh my!

    I am a compulsive weigher, too, but only once a day. It is just so hard not to get feedback! I want a number! Not good for the morale, indeed, but addictive.

    Baking specifically is therapeutic for me. Something about making a lump of stuff into something warm and yarmy!

  2. Cece Says:

    Lup.ron made me totally crazy….bitchy and headaches for sure. I was bloated, but chalked that up to PMS. Now I’m on half the dose, but on stims… so who knows WHAT is making me crazy now?!?!

    Good luck!

  3. kona Says:

    I like to stock up on supplies, too. I always like an extra roll of TP in the bathroom (not counting the extra 15 rolls in the closet), extra soda, extra coffee, extra cat litter, extra this, extra that. 😉 In fact, I think a trip to Costco is in order for next week as coffee supplies are low!

  4. yodasmistress Says:

    Oh wow I love your 8 things. And I am totally with you on the I-love-animals-but-I-eat-meat thing too.

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