First of all, I know I have been MIA which is very unlike me. I was in this workshop for managers at my work for the last two days, ALL DAY. I worried it would be really new-agey and touchy-feely but it wasn’t. It was practical and amazing and I feel like I have all sorts of new strategies to apply to me and my staff to make it the best office ever. I am excited! Of course I got all geeky about it and sent a note to all the people in the class (there were only 8 of us) suggesting we keep in touch, and no one responded. I know it was only 2 hours ago that I sent the note, but I expected at least ONE person to respond by now! Hmmmph. Maybe I was the only one that liked it. OR, maybe I was the annoying one that no one wants to keep up with! (GAWD, I hate how insecure I am). Anyway, I am back, albeit briefly. We are heading up to the mountains this weekend and I won’t have a computer, so this will be my last post until Monday.

Today was TW’s big day to “donate”. I was SO nervous that he wouldn’t be able to do it, or there would be traffic on the way to the clinic, OR he would “F” up in some other way…the last IUI we did, he made a cup of coffee, checked his e-mail, got sucked into it, and then when it was time to do his thing, he was so rushed it did not go so well. B.A.D. I was pissed! We only had 700,000 sperm to work with post-wash that time. I realize that with IVF the numbers aren’t as important, but still.

So, last night I had some crazy dreams. I think I already told you that my stress manifests in my dreams….I dreamt that TW was spanking it in the other room and I was getting ready for work. I walked into the room, and there he was, in a dining chair, doing it. I was like ‘WTF are you doing?’ The cleaning lady was cleaning the house, the dog was running around, and the shades were open, the contractors were outside the window working on the house. Then he grabbed this big tupperware of macaroni and cheese and finished off in that. He said, ‘You forgot to give me the container!’

In any event, this morning I got up early and filled out the forms, completed the label for the container, opened the package with the sterile container, and left everything for him. I highlighted the relevant instructions (i.e. NO lube, transport within 30 minutes). I tried to make it as easy as possible. I was also trying not to nag too much, but I always fail at that part. He got up and put blue jeans on and made a cup of coffee. Then he marched out the front door. I just had to have faith that he was going to take care of business as he promised. He had to be at the clinic at 9am with his sample (leave the house by 8:30 in case of traffic). At 8am he marched back into the house and yelled, “YOU ARE STILL HERE!” So I scrambled to get out of the house. It was kind of funny, I guess he was waiting for me to get my ass out of the way so he could do his business. I know some couples do this together, but he likes his privacy for such acts as making love to a plastic cup!

I got my detailed protocol via e-mail the other day, and yesterday a fat envelope came with a detailed calendar and organizer that I need to bring to each appointment. I am on the BCP for 20 days total. On October 25th I start Lup.ron injections. On November 2, I have a baseline ultrasound and start FSH stimulation shots. The egg retrieval will be the week of November 11! Embryo transfer will be 1-5 days after that. OMG. I could know by Thanksgiving!!!

I am trying to stay grounded but it is so hard. There are so many unknowns. Will I respond well to the drugs? Will they be able to retrieve many eggs? Will TW’s sperm be able to fertilize my eggs? Will the embies survive? These are all things I have no control over, I just have to let go and take one day at a time. My personality isn’t made for this — but it will be good for me (or so I am trying to convince myself).

Next steps: one of my pathogen tests didn’t get done for some reason so I am going to the IVF clinic to get it done there. I was trying to save a little cash by doing it through my regular doctor but now I cannot get through to them to see why the last test wasn’t done. The IVF clinic will charge $57 for the test, so I may as well just take care of it with them…..I am doing it this afternoon. What is $57 in the grand scheme of things — peanuts! The IVF clinic is calling in all my meds to the pharmacy today, I can pick up my box of goodies on Monday. On Thursday 10/18 I have my injections/IVF class.

I love making progress!!


One Response to “Progress”

  1. Michelle Says:

    Good luck with this cycle!!!!!

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