The one day wait

TW and I had a fight last night. We are so different, sometimes I wonder how we even made it this far. Our styles are different. When I have a small task to do, I like to take care of it ASAP so it is out of the way. TW on the other hand thinks, “This task is very small, I can put it off until later”. These two attitudes do not live happily with one another. I had made an appointment for him to “donate” on Friday, October 12th – delivery at 9am. His flight schedule is clear that day, PT is with her mom, and it should be a laid back day for him. However, I asked him to block off a few hours on his calendar that morning so that the dispatchers wouldn’t schedule him for a flight. He kept saying he would do the entry on the calendar, but then I would check and nothing was put down. So last night I blew up. He kept saying it was no big deal, that he could do it later. He was just sitting in front of the TV like a lump, and he kept saying he just wanted to relax. I don’t understand how walking over to the computer (literally 5 steps from the couch), and entering two lines into his calendar precludes him from relaxing. It just makes me feel completely unsupported. Especially since he knows how wound up I am about this….everything has to be well coordinated and if he fucks up the schedule I will never let it go. He finally got up and did it but acted like I asked him to cut off his left testicle with a rusty butter knife. I was in tears. And guess what? This morning I checked the calendar, and he entered it on the wrong day. WTF! Now we have to go through this again. I don’t understand the dragging of the feet. It is extremely passive aggressive and I cannot tolerate it. I wish he would just tell me what is going on with him, but when I ask he says that I am just over reacting. Marriage is a lot of work, people! Especially when IF comes into play. This morning we were fine, he said he would fix the calendar and he apologized for his behavior last night. But I am still grumpy.

I had my blood drawn yesterday morning at 8:30am to check my FSH and E2 levels. I hope nothing horribly drastic has happened to my numbers — last year at this time my FSH was 5.6 and I was very happy with it.

I am SO glad that my IVF clinic is a mile from my work! It is going to make things very convenient. However, carrying a loaded syringe to my office with me (in a clear plastic pouch) was a little rough. I was instructed to give myself the Lup.ron injection at 4:30pm on the dot….so yes, I shot myself up at work! P leaves at 4:30pm so I waited for him to go, then I shut my office door, cleaned my belly with a sterile alcohol pad, and then poked myself. The needle went in easily – thank God for my spare tire (I never thought I would say that…). However, the plunger was a little stuck so I applied more pressure and POW it all went in at once. I thought I was supposed to gradually push the plunger in, but oh well. Nothing can be done about it now!

This morning I went back to the clinic on my way to work for my “Delta blood draw”. The Lu.pron is supposed to make my E2 levels go up by at least 3o points. If the levels don’t rise, then I can’t do IVF this cycle. Apparently the response can change month to month, so failing the test now won’t mean I am precluded from ever passing…but of course I am nervous anyway! I am in the one day wait. I will find out tomorrow whether we are doing this or not.


2 Responses to “The one day wait”

  1. Ashley Bass Says:

    I am wishing you the best with those levels! I am sure it will all be a go this cycle!

  2. lub Says:

    Good luck tomorrow. I can totally see where you are coming from with your DH. Mine is the same way. He put off calling for his SA results for days and days. I was like, “HELLO- this greatly affects our next steps.” I guess its different for guys. They dont’ live in these 2 week increments so it doesn’t seem pressing.

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