I’m BAAACK

I am back and work has started back up with a vengeance. I am realizing that maybe blogging during work won’t happen as much as I thought it could….I started this during the summer when things were very calm. Orientation is starting this week and the kids are back! I almost hit 5 of them on my way to the office because none of them look both ways before crossing the street on their bikes — didn’t they learn anything in kindergarten??

So, the weekend was okay — a little too much driving for such a short trip. And I ate like crap the WHOLE weekend. I had a burger and fries on the way up (we didn’t leave until 8pm on Friday night!), then on Saturday we were at an air show and I ate a hotdog and a slice of pizza, then that night we had burgers and fries again, the next morning I had eggs, corned beef hash, potatoes and a biscuit and then Chinese food that night. OMG, kill me now. I am back on track now, thank goodness. I swam twice this week already and had my yogurt, fruit and salad for lunch both Monday and Tuesday.

Over the weekend we hung out with two of TW’s friends. One guy has three kids – his mom confided in me about 5 years ago that he and his wife were having fertility issues – which I thought was odd since I had never met the mom before. But later that year, they announced that they were having twins. The couple themselves never told us that they had fertility treatments, but I can only assume. They now have twin 4 year olds and a two year old. I am DYING to ask them if they had “help”, but I don’t really feel comfortable, and of course TW won’t ask either.

The other friend is in the military and his wife is as well. She is on a ship for the next year, and he told us that when she returns that they are going into baby making mode. They have been married for 10 years (they were super young when they got married, now they are in their early 30s). He sounded so confident that it would just happen right away. I do hope it does, but at the same time….who knows? There are so many instances, almost every day, that my IF is on the tip of my tongue but I hold myself back from saying anything. I am debating whether I should tell more people at work…especially the two that report to me. They are both young (she is 25 and he is 28) and bright eyed and bushy tailed. He has been married for 2 years and they plan to start TTC in about 3 years. She is getting married in two weeks and doesn’t think she wants to TTC for TEN YEARS. Is it inappropriate for me to tell them what is going on? I am tempted because work is going to start getting SUPER busy and if I have to take time off for appointments, if I don’t feel well from all the meds, etc. wouldn’t it be better if they had an explanation than if they just thought I was having some sort of mental breakdown?

Had another acupuncture treatment on Monday morning. She is working on my lower back as well as “pregnancy support”. She wants me to start coming more often now that IVF is definitely in store. I really like the treatments. I went at 7:30am so I basically thought of it as one more hour of rest before work! I read the protocol for the N clinic and it is so much less complex than Dr. Z. I almost wonder if it is involved enough! For example, Dr. Z requires PIO for a while after transfer, The N Clinic only does progesterone suppositories for 12 days. I am going to ask if I can do them for longer….or I will just ask my OB. I am so curious about how the two clinics have such completely different protocols and they both claim to work magic.

Dr. Z had one of his success stories e-mail me so that I could ask questions, etc. She e-mailed me yesterday and said she has a 21 month old from her first cycle and is now 5.5 months pregnant from her 2nd cycle. We e-mailed back and forth a couple of times, and then I just got annoyed. In each of her four e-mails, she mentioned she was pregnant. Okay, I understand that she must have also gone through a lot to get pregnant, but I am just so intolerant. The first e-mail she told me she was pregnant, which was fine. The second e-mail she had to tell me she had “pregnancy brain”. The third e-mail she told me she falls asleep at 9pm because she is pregnant. The fourth e-mail she mentioned pregnancy brain again. Yes, I get it!!! You are pregnant!!!! I know that this person is supposed to instill hope in me, but I am done with her.

I do think I am having an emotional crisis. I just burst into tears b/c TW left to go to breakfast on his bike, and I am so convinced he will come back late for our appointment with the N Clinic. I told him like 50 times that he better not be late. He was ready to chop my head off.

Ugh – we are having some events for the new students at work tomorrow and Friday, and both days we planned on having a nice lunch outside under the oak trees (like we always do). Guess what: 60% chance of rain. It is the same plan every year and it NEVER rains. We never even think about a rain plan. I have 200 people coming to lunch! I have no idea what the hell we are going to do.

Our house is still exactly how it was last week. We should be packing, boxing crap up, getting rid of stuff…Salvation Army was supposed to come yesterday to pick up some furniture and they never showed up! They didn’t even call. I guess this is what we will be doing this weekend. SO much to do.

Yes, feeling a little stressed.

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One Response to “I’m BAAACK”

  1. Ashley Bass Says:

    Welcome back! Sorry to hear about all the stress in your life upon your return. Hopefully things will calm down!

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