Updates: Dr. Z, The Remodel, and getting punched in the gut

Dr. Z: I had my phone consult with Dr. Z yesterday. He called me at about 4:10pm (I was at work) so I shut my door and told my staff not to bug me. I went into it a little apprehensive because when I did my preliminary research, I felt that Dr. Z’s clinic was a little slick. They sent me a fat envelope of marketing materials with slick brochures and a DVD. I watched the DVD and it was all these happy couples gushing about what a miracle the whole experience was. It was a little “sales-y” for me if you know what I mean. But the phone call was great. He was very personable, asked lots of questions, we chatted about my family, TW’s family, our goals, plans, what we do. I really, really, liked him. I had questions about their process and he was very patient with me. He was super attentive and had a really great manner about him. I got a really good vibe. After the call he sent me an e-mail with eleven (Yes! ELEVEN) PDF attachments of things he wants me to read. It will be my project this weekend. He also told me about the SART website (Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology)…I hadn’t seen it before. You can research the different clinics and compare their success rates, etc. I have to say, the success rate numbers make me super nervous. A woman of my “advanced age” doesn’t look that good on paper. Also the N clinic’s numbers were really bad compared with Dr. Z. I know that the numbers can be skewed — some clinics work with people who are at the end of their rope and don’t have as much success. Other clinics pre-screen their patients to make sure that success is likely. I don’t know what to think. I was totally honest with him and told him that I was researching other places and would make a decision the week of the 17th. He encouraged me to make a phone consult with the financial coordinator and the clinical coordinator just to get a feel for what the process will entail, so I have those appointments on the 14th. I got so excited after hanging up the phone – WE ARE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS!!

The Remodel: OMG I almost died of a heart attack. TW was at work so I met with our builder alone. He handed me the bid: a good $150K over what we thought. I almost started crying, and my heart fell into my stomach. I know my face went white and the builder didn’t know what to do with me. He said he was going to look it over again and see if he can bring it down some…he is going to get back to me next week. I called TW and was panicked. We have been waiting on this, working with the architect, got the landscaper lined up, etc. for two years. I cannot imagine not doing it now, but I refuse to live in a gorgeous house eating top ramen and canned beans because we can’t afford anything else. TW talked me down. He thinks we can still do it. I hope he is right. I am SO nervous especially knowing that IVF is around the corner (a huge expense). TW said, “we just got our cars fixed, and we don’t have any other big expenses coming up…” I said, “WHAT? We don’t have any other big expenses coming up???” Hmmm. Guess he forgot about IVF. What a dimwit.

Getting Punched in the Gut: Last night PT needed a signature on a form for school, something for the computer lab. She asked me where her dad was (he was out back, picking up dog poop, bless his heart), and I said, “Oh — give me the form, I can sign it”. She said, “No you can’t sign it, I need dad to sign it. It says, ‘parent‘, not ‘parent or guardian“. It is these simple little statements that really kill me. It isn’t PT’s fault, but it really cut me to the quick.


One Response to “Updates: Dr. Z, The Remodel, and getting punched in the gut”

  1. Chris Says:

    Your phone consult sounds like it went very well. I think it is really important to be able to have a comfortable relationship with your doctor. You are smart to keep in mind what can scew a clinic’s success rates, especially when you are older, like we are. I know that I keep telling myself that my doctor wouldn’t be encouraging us to do IVF if we didn’t at least stand a pretty good chance. I hope your contractor can come back with a better bid. And so sorry about the remark from PT. That must have really stung.

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