I cannot be happy for pregnant people anymore (with a couple of rare exceptions, Kona & Brinko & Kelley — you are three of them!). And I find myself just glaring/staring at the bellies as I pass them by.

I am healthy. I am not overweight. I work out 4-5 times per week. I don’t eat crap. I get acupuncture twice a month. I don’t smoke. I take my daily vitamins. I don’t do drugs. I only drink wine (and I have basically quit as of late). I get enough sleep. I have a good job, we have a nice house. I am well educated.  I have a MS degree in counseling psychology. I am good with our money. WHY CAN’T THIS HAPPEN FOR ME??!?!?!

The other day I went to a large meeting of administrators on the college campus. It was in an auditorium. I ended up sitting next to a woman I worked with several years ago. She is grossly overweight, she is bi-sexual and not in a relationship (she lives with her mother). She drinks a lot and smokes cigarettes. She does not take care of herself AT ALL. What was the first thing out of her mouth? “Guess what – I am pregnant!”. I almost fell over.

At Starbucks this morning there was a woman sitting outside. She must have been about 100 pounds overweight and she was smoking. She had the cutest little baby with her.

Then don’t get me started on people like Nicole Ritchie and Anna Nicole Smith (may she rest in peace). Talk about two women who didn’t/don’t take care of themselves AT ALL.

I honestly feel like I am cursed. I don’t understand how I am trying to do everything right, and this one thing, this one thing that comes so naturally to everyone, will not happen for me.

I am 4DPO. I hate the 2WW.


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