Romy, Michele and Me!

My 20th highschool reunion is this weekend! YIKES! Luckily my two BFF are coming with me, J1 and J2. I have to tell ya, I still live in the same town I grew up in, which is good and bad. The good part is that J1 also lives here, about 5 miles from me. J2 was in NYC getting her MS degree and she just got married (YAY!) and moved back. Her husband just got a job out this way and they moved 6 hours south. Anyway, J2 is coming up for the reunion too. It will be like Romy and Michele (except there are three of us!). We are debating whether to pretend we are a lesbian threesome. Or, maybe we will just dress up like homeless people and hang out downtown outside the restaurant. None of our husbands care to join us. Which is a good thing. When the three of us get together — LOOK OUT. It is not like we are crazy partiers or anything. We just laugh hysterically until people think we forgot to take our meds. No one else gets it. I am looking forward to this. We didn’t go to the 10 year but the 20 year should be highly entertaining.

We decided not to RSVP on purpose, for the following reasons: 1) In case we change our minds; 2) We didn’t want the nametag with our PICTURE FROM SENIOR YEAR ON IT. OMG, what are they thinking. They hired some high school reunion event planning company to organize it and I guess they decided that printing a picture of my asymmetrical bob, pre-nose job face on my name-tag would be a good idea. They allow entry at the door, for $10 extra (cash only please). $80 – ouch! We decided that even if it sucks, we will have a good time because the three of us will be together. If not, we will leave early and go to Denny’s just like we did at the highschool dances (sans rum and coke in the parking lot).

Get this: The invitation booklet (to pre-register), had an awards questionnaire in it. You know, like in the year book (best dressed, most desirable, best body, the person you would most like to be stranded on a desert island with). But here are the questions:

1. How many children do you have? (Award for most kids)
2. When did you have your most recent child? (Award for youngest baby)
3. How long have you been married (for longest marriage award)
4. How long have you been married (for newest newlywed)
And other equally offensive and innane questions.

What the hell!!! These “vital stats” are going to be printed in the keepsake book that everyone gets to take home. I was wondering if I should submit: I don’t have any children because I am infertile and my husband has low sperm counts. Do you think they would like that?

Here is a new and improved questionnaire that I will ask them to use for future highschool reunions:

1. How many times a week to do you visit the RE (award for most times per week)
2. What is your FSH level (award for highest FSH)
3. How long is your Luteal Phase (award for shortest)
4. How many IUIs have you attempted (award for most failed IUIs)
5. How many IVFs have you attempted (award for most failed IVFs)
6. How many dildo cams have you endured (award for the most dildo cams)
7. What is your husband’s sperm analysis (award for highest morphology rates, lowest motility and lowest sperm counts)

YAY! I may get medals in multiple categories!


2 Responses to “Romy, Michele and Me!”

  1. kona Says:

    Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do (at the reunion). Just kidding! Have fun. Enjoyed reading your new blog!!

  2. babystep Says:

    This is a test to see if my avatar loaded.

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